this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
