It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
