Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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