evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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