oh god the rape fog is back!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wish my penis had a tongue
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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