1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
