Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
