i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
