and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
