i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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