i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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