I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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