it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
