you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
