i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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