This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
