Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
