OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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