for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
