Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
