Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
