If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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