I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
