"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
