Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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