They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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