we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
