idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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