i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
