Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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