Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
