Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh god it's open bar.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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