Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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