What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
