Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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