After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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