problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize