Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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