you would pick up someone in the library
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The beer is more important than you right now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
