he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
