You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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