What a fucking waste of an outfit
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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