Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Randomize
