The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
