I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
