you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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