So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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