fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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