So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
