apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
