I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize