Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
