Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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