I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
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She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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