I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
