i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
