i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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