YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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