I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
false alarm, still single
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