Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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