It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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