I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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